k.. this is to u.. dear.. i noe u feel stress about everything now.. yur life.. yur studies yur family health.. and us.. i shall give u time to cool down k.. i realli worry about u.. now if u see me i tink u wun regconise me.. i slim dwn 2 kg!! and my face is thin.. due to i'm sick.. i am sick ever since u left me stun that day when u suddenly hung up on me.. and stressed due to yur father's illness.. i wish him a speedy recovery i realli do.. i tot alot about the stuffs u said and the stuffs i said.. it made me cry alot u noe.. its been so long i ever cry that much.. i lost all motivation to do anything anymore.. cos u are my light.. my pathway to a better life.. now without yur presence i'm just a fish in a sea.. aimlessly and lonely.. no amount of games or friends or even beautiful woman can cheer me up now.. cos all i realli want now is you... u r my light, my will to live my.. everything.. u stepped in mylife and lived a mark.. it will nv be washed away.. u rem yur promised? u will give me wad i lack during my childhood? the warmth and all those stuff i lacked.. u will give me? i'm not stressing u.. u noe.. i said i will give u time.. but pls.. if u wish to be alone.. dun ignore me.. ignore my calls.. my msges.. it hurts like hell u noe? to u.. it may seem nth.. but to me.. u noe it's like the end of the world.. now the fewlin i'm having is like.. i canot breathe.... i'm always at the usual spot waiting for yur arrival.. even if i'm not there.. u will sense my presence i noe u will.. cos we r mirror after all.. i noe u dun wish to tell me everything is due to not stressing me.. but do u noe.. by not telling me.. and allow me to tink elsewhere.. i'm more stress? right now i'm even suffering from somthing i canot describe.. i'm dizzy keep vomitting.. and i can;t eat or slp well.. when i slp i kept whispering yur name.. when i open my eyes its always tears.. the feeling is worse den death.. the ring is still hanging on my neck.. i will nv remove it till i lie 6 inches below u noe.. i did promise that b4.. i realli miss u alot.. i wana cherish u i hope u will still cherish me.. i noe i'm yur 1st.. but i wish u will love me as much as back den u noe.. my feelings for u nv falter.. i will still run to u if u ask me to.. cos i realli love u.. my vision duno why is fading esp my right eye.. i am scared but i dun dare let u noe.. mayb u wun even read this but i guess i better write it down in case i dun ever have the chance again.. i feel that i am weaker by the day.. i duno how long i can maintain my body till i drop down .. i wish tat b4 i drop i could see u smiling and luffing with me.. biting me as usual.. the silent treatment u gave me is the most painful i ever had in my 20 yers of life.. y wun u let me touch yur life? y u suddenly turn this way? i noe u got yur probelms.. but i could try to help.. u can let me noe yur trouble right? i may not help u right.. but at least i can suffer the pain with u right? it will lighten yur load u noe.. i miss u alot... i duno if u miss me anot.. but right now even in tears i am.. missing u like crazy.. how can u she de let me be like this? sigh.. i realli need u ruby/ hui ling/ ling er/ dear~ i wonder if i lie on the hospital bed will u be there for me when i open my eyes.. u did say b4 u wud'nt leave me if i ever lose my sight right.. rem? at lot 1 that day.. i had been trying to find a field of dandelion for u if u din noe.. cos i rem the 1st time we at the pond.. u said u luv dandelions... my grandpa saw my state guess wad he told my parents? like a sick bird.. he will lose the will to live if the mate nv shows up.. hah.. typical geezer.. scare my parents.. but i duno i realli kinda lost the will to recover.. i 1st time sick for 4 days.. 4 days.. since u last spoke to me.. it felt like 4 months already.. u noe.. fever again.. sigh.. k... i hope u read this.. ruby.. i love you.. u noe it.. deep down yur heart.. right?
Shawn Says  Jana~ 9:44 PM |
I am an twenty-year-old ChiPanese who is currently Serving the Singapore Arm Forces. I enjoy reading, drawing, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a successful swindler, a professional liar, and maybe someone you could bring home to meet mom with.(XD)
