right now i felt so useless.. dear feeling so sad yet i canot do anything.. she dun wan me to disturb her?!!! sigh!! so i am an outsider now.. i realli felt hurt by the wrds he is the only guy whu noes the true me.. so wad am i?? i am being emotional here.. i noe.. but wad u expect me to feel? happy? its not i dun care.. its just.. i duno wad to say.. right now i felt much lot worse den her.. yet i canot say i dun wana give her stress now that she stress up.. i went to lot 1 bought her a present just now.. i nv ate for 2 weeks just to save enuff for that.. and now she is like very sad.. wad should i do?? how can i help?? i felt so useless.. its like she is shutting herself frm me.. HER boyfriend! .. why?! I felt angry and disappointed at the same time.. this feelin.. i tot i will never have it again.. y she wana hide frm me.. i'm only 2nd to her friends.. i dun mind initally.. but now is like.. i am a total stranger to her now.. am i thinking too much or just that i am totally breaking down? Looking at the gifts i just bought.. tears brim my eyes.. i am so angry.. not with her.. but myself.. why did i shout at her yest?! i prepare to make a deal with the devil himself to extend her grandma life span even if it means take mine aways for 1 yr or 2.. i just dunwana see her like this.. it pains me.. to see her in this state.. she totally ignore me. she somtimes do things hurt my feelings she wun noe.. can;t blame her also.. cos she's stressed out.. she wud not even let me visit her grandma.. i was like disappointed.. my care n concern.. she totally shrugged off like that.. kinda.. i'm having a fvever and yet i did these things for her.. i reali hope she will b her normal self.. *no 1 noes me like him* this phrase.. it attached to my heart like a nail thru a plank of wood.. its bleeding internally now.. i was like.. MY CAMP destroy my life... i'm no longer my usual self.. all thats left behind is just a fucking shell.. i got no soul i got no heart.. i'm lost.. my lights have dimmed.. i got no more mood to carry on this post.. hope tml she will be fine.. P.S dear.. i wish yur grandma recover soon.. i realli do.. i love u alot and dun wana see u in this state.. k?
Shawn Says  Jana~ 11:23 PM |
I am an twenty-year-old ChiPanese who is currently Serving the Singapore Arm Forces. I enjoy reading, drawing, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a successful swindler, a professional liar, and maybe someone you could bring home to meet mom with.(XD)
